Santa - Holiday Jokes News

Holiday Jokes News

Marriage included an unexpected jackpot | GOOD MORNING Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 10:42PMMother-in-law always seems to carry a negative connotation.
Stepping out in Barstow Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 3:58PMIt's the Fourth of July weekend and according to the Automobile Club of Southern California, one of the top holiday destinations for Southern California travelers is Las Vegas . To get there, drivers take I-15 city on their way to the glitz and bright lights of Sin City.Most blow right past...
Rugby player's organs donated Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 7:25AMTHE parents of Halley Appleby, who died after a rugby match, have paid tribute to their son and said the decision to turn off his life support machine was "out of our hands".
Book Doctor's top summer reads for under-5s Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 12:48AMFour of the best new picture books - from Traction Man to a rhyming rabbit The Rhyming Rabbit , by Julia Donaldson, illustrated by Lydia Monks (Macmillan, £10.99). Age: 3+ Julia Donaldson, the newly appointed children's laureate, may be best known for The Gruffalo , but her huge output contains a great many other gems besides. Although The Rhyming Rabbit lacks the brilliant simplicity of The ...
Which movie scene was too much for your kids? Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 3:33PMParents and caregivers with small children. What movies just got too scary/violent/creepy for your little ones, and what was the scene that did it?
Redditors try something new; real life Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 12:50PMCORONA DEL MAR - Hordes of nerds are at the beach standing around awkwardly, sharing cool mint Oreos and sunning their pale nerdy flesh, getting the kind of color you can't get from the glow of an LCD screen. Many of them are wearing sneakers and pants despite the sun and the sand.On a...
Redditors try something new: real life Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 12:50PMNEWPORT BEACH - Hordes of nerds are at the beach standing around awkwardly, sharing cool mint Oreos and sunning their pale nerdy flesh, getting the kind of color you can't get from the glow of an LCD screen. Many of them are wearing sneakers and pants despite the sun and the sand.On a recent...
The ultimate tea party - the Queen invites Kate Middleton to Balmoral Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 12:34PMThis could possibly be the scariest holiday of all time. Fresh from wowing the Yanks in the ol’ US of A, Kate Middleton’s now got to continue the charm offensive and go on hols with her grandparents-in-law, AKA the Queen...
Miniature golf courses provide entertainment that spans generations Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 10:14AMBefore there were television, computers and video games, there was miniature golf. read more »
Popular young player taken far too soon Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 9:00AMFAMILY and friends of rising rugby star Halley Appleby are rallying to support each other after losing "the best mate anyone could have".
Regional arts and entertainment events Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 12:12AMSunday Eve of destruction Though it may now seem a relic of the era of mutual assured destruction, the 1964 thriller Fail-Safe was released just two years after the Cuban Missile Crisis, at a time when reminders of the bristling nuclear arsenals the United State
Duo close comedy gap Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 9:06PMThey may be tourists, but Hamish & Andy now have their own New York TV show.
Electronic Sultana Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 4:03AMIn an unprecedented move the Bibliotheca Alexandrina, on the audio section of the web site Dhakirat Misr Al-Mu'asirah (Modern Memory of Egypt), managed to archive over 100 eminently enjoyable songs in the beautiful voice of Mounira El-Mahdiya (b. Zakiya Hassan Mansour in 1885, d. 1965), the greatest Egyptian singer between the two world wars also known as the Sultana of tarab or musical ...
National Ice Cream Day Celebration Today, July 17 Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 3:33AMToday, July 17, 2011 marks the 27th celebration of the National Ice Cream Day as reported by various international news sites. As such, the International Ice Cream Association (IICA) encourages all Americans to celebrate the event by eating their favorite hard and soft-served flavored ice creams. It can be remembered that 27 years ago, in [...]
Big Apple fills the comic gap Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 9:29AMHAMISH BLAKE and Andy Lee missed out on the traditional post-high school year off. Both skipped it to study commerce at the University of Melbourne. To make up for that lost ''gap year'', the radio-turned-television duo will deliver a 10-part comedy/variety series from a newly fitted studio in New York.
Pitchfork Music Festival: Day 1 in review Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 8:42AMThe three-day festival launched Friday in Union Park, with a crowd approaching 18,000.
Coach Leads Westport Races for Five Decades Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 12:19PMLaddie Lawrence has directed the Westport Road Runners Summer Series for 46 years.
Justice court new hotbed for wedding ceremonies Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 10:43AMCouples flock to justice courts for simple and frugal weddings.
16% o Brits will take an e-Reader on holiday Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 9:12AMMore than one in seven (16 percent) of Brits that own an e-reader will happily take the device on holiday, says PriceRunner.
Raja Sen reviews Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 8:16AMZNMD doesn't earn our laughs, says Raja Sen.
Estonians back home after Lebanon kidnap ordeal Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 2:58AM"We were held in three different secret locations by the eight terrorists, in both Lebanon and Syria. The big advantage was we were together, and that unity gave us the strength to believe we would see a happy end."
Emily Mortimer - A Sloane from the Chilterns who loves life in the fast lane Thursday, July 14, 2011 @ 6:18PMThe daughter of celebrated actor and lawyer Sir John Mortimer of Rumpole of the Bailey fame, Emily Mortimer enjoyed the quintessential upper-crust upbringing. Raised between Chelsea and the Chilterns, she attended St Paul's Girls School before reading Russian at Oxford where she performed on stage. Today, she leads a remarkably different life, fully immersed in her adopted US homeland and living ...
Jokes galore after UP's historic win Thursday, July 14, 2011 @ 7:05AMMANILA, Philippines - The online community in Facebook and Twitter broke out in celebration after the UP Fighting Maroons' historic 69-61 win against the UE Red Warriors.
A French fête: Popular bistro's Bastille Day party takes Lakeway by storm Wednesday, July 13, 2011 @ 10:39AMA French fête: Popular bistro's Bastille Day party takes Lakeway by storm
Gator nabbed in Plantation has future in show business Wednesday, July 13, 2011 @ 7:18AMAn alligator that was found roaming around the border of Plantation and Sunrise early Wednesday was finally corralled and will avoid the fatal ending of many other so-called nuisance alligators.
Gator nabbed in Plantation Wednesday has a future in show business Wednesday, July 13, 2011 @ 6:26AMMaybe the alligator wanted to shop at Sawgrass Mills or was attracted to the mall's giant gator sign.
Theatre Review: On The Rocks Tuesday, July 12, 2011 @ 12:01PMOutside 10 Downing Street — and, we gather, throughout the country and indeed the world — huge numbers of the unemployed are out protesting. Well, it’s 1933
South Sudan will get new currency Tuesday, July 12, 2011 @ 5:43AMSouth Sudan will use a new currency that shows the image of the deceased founder of the nation's struggle.
Wag.com, Facebook, Skype, Iota, Moai: The 1-Minute Week in Seattle Tech News Tuesday, July 12, 2011 @ 2:59AMshare: digg facebook twitter -Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg made the "awesome" product announcement he alluded to during a recent visit to Facebook's Seattle office, bringing up Skype CEO Tony Bates to show off the new video-calling feature embedded in the world's largest social network. Iota's team is made up of T-Mobile veterans who want to get fun, fashionable non-phone mobile ...
South Sudan to get new currency Monday, July 11, 2011 @ 11:30PMSouth Sudan, the world's newest country, will launch its currency next week, officials say.
South Sudan has own currency Monday, July 11, 2011 @ 9:28PMJuba - South Sudan has formed a caretaker government for the new nation, and announced it will use a new currency that features the image of the deceased founder of the nation's liberation struggle.
New nation of South Sudan to get new currency Monday, July 11, 2011 @ 7:25PMJUBA, South Sudan (AP) - South Sudan has formed a caretaker government for the new nation, and announced it will use a new currency that features the image of the deceased founder of the nation's liberation struggle.
South Sudan to introduce 'pound' as currency Monday, July 11, 2011 @ 11:26AMFledgling nation forms cabinet and details plan for release of new money, two days after independence from North Sudan.
South Sudan Independence: World's Newest Country Gets Own Currency Monday, July 11, 2011 @ 10:17AMJUBA, South Sudan -- South Sudan formed a caretaker government for the new nation Monday, and announced it will use a new currency that features the image of the deceased founder of the nation's liberation struggle.
'RHONJ' ep. 8 recap: Joe Gorga goes drag - again Monday, July 11, 2011 @ 5:46AMHo, ho, ho! It's holiday time in Franklin Lakes and in the immortal words of Jacqueline, "cut the sh*t and let's party!".
Facebook pages of dead friends raise issues for survivors Monday, July 11, 2011 @ 1:13AMWhat do you think should happen to a Facebook page once someone dies?
On his bike, no sweat Sunday, July 10, 2011 @ 10:21PMIf he's not on his bike, he could well be up a mountain. Features editor Claire Allison manages to catch Gordon Hasell at home to talk about turning 78 and still getting out there.
Versailles: 40 years serving food with a side of politics Sunday, July 10, 2011 @ 7:04PMA Miami landmark celebrates 40 years of food seasoned with politics, celebrity and history.
Dubai to Manila: 24 hours in a TRAVELIFE Saturday, July 9, 2011 @ 10:09PMWe at Travelife Magazine lead never-ending Travelives. But the last 24 hours I'm talking about began on Wednesday night in Dubai and ended Thursday night in Manila . I was due to fly back to Manila on Wednesday night -- or rather very early Thursday morning -- and hit the ground running, straight to work and a series of television shoots. DINNER WITH DUBAI'S PHILIPPINE COMMUNITY But before ...
Lt. David Ott one of Estero’s original paid firefighters retires Saturday, July 9, 2011 @ 5:10AMWhen Lt. David Ott became one of the first three firefighters on Estero’s payroll in 1985, the community consisted of five streets. When a call came in, no map was needed. With just a few hundreds people living in Estero, all the caller needed to do was give a name and firefighters new exactly where to go in their 1957 Chevy firetruck- a relic from World War II.
Lt. David Ott - one of Estero’s original paid firefighters - retires Saturday, July 9, 2011 @ 5:10AMWhen Lt. David Ott became one of the first three firefighters on Estero’s payroll in 1985, the community consisted of five streets. When a call came in, no map was needed. With just a few hundreds people living in Estero, all the caller needed to do was give a name and firefighters new exactly where to go in their 1957 Chevy firetruck- a relic from World War II.
Five Questions for July 9, 2011: Greg Aidala Saturday, July 9, 2011 @ 3:09AMLatham-native Greg Aidala is celebrating his 10th year of performing comedy this year and his fifth year of his comedy showcase “The Brew Ha-Ha.” On July 16, he — along with comedians Jesse Joyce and Clayton Fletcher — will perform at the Holiday Inn Express in Latham at 8 p.m. Tickets, available at the door, are $15. For more information, visit www.gregaidala.com.
What the Stars Hold for Your Week Friday, July 8, 2011 @ 5:43PMWith Uranus newly retrograde, Aires adapts and Scorpio extricates. Find out what you’ll do this week.
TV highlights for Sat, July 9 Thursday, July 7, 2011 @ 8:12PMNational TV highlights for Saturday, July 9.
A wild dispatch from the Empire Thursday, July 7, 2011 @ 5:19PMThere are certain people in the geek community whose jobs you would absolutely love to have. read more
Film, Times & Events: Week of July 7th Thursday, July 7, 2011 @ 5:00PMFilms This Week Check out the movies playing around town. With reviews and trailers. HORRIBLE BOSSES Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, and Charlie Day star in this homicidal comedy as disgruntled workers who plot against their dysfunctional employers because they can't afford to quit their jobs.
Hot-Hand Luke Thursday, July 7, 2011 @ 12:18PMLUKE, you are my fodder: Charlie Ross could say this if he ever met a certain intergalactic hero. During 2,000 shows on four continents, Ross has condensed the entire shuddering mass of the first three Star Wars films into his One-Man Star Wars Trilogy .
Miniature golf courses provide entertainment that spans generations Thursday, July 7, 2011 @ 3:23AMBefore there were television, computers and video games, there was miniature golf. read more »
Our Picks for 6/29-7/7: Ween, The Sweet Harlots, Bookplate Auction and Reception, First Friday ... Wednesday, July 6, 2011 @ 1:23PMWeen saturday 2 Two years ago, a band came to the Les Schwab Amphitheater and played one of the most ridiculously hilarious and musically diverse sets in the history of the venue. They were called Ween and we’re damn pleased to say they’ll be back in town on Saturday night to rock our faces off once again. Ween – comprised of “brothers” Gene and Dean Ween – is known to hopscotch between genres ...
Our neighbor: Greg Aidala Wednesday, July 6, 2011 @ 12:14PMLatham-native Greg Aidala is celebrating his 10th year of performing comedy this year and his fifth year of his comedy showcase "The Brew Ha-Ha." On July 16, he — along with comedians Jesse Joyce and Clayton Fletcher — will perform at the Holiday Inn Express in Latham at 8 p.m. Tickets, available at the door, are $15. For more information, visit www.gregaidala.com.