Santa

santa banta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? Walking up to a department store`s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per meter madam," replied Banta (clerk). "That`s fine," replied the girl. "I`ll take five meters." "Five meters only?", asked Banta "Hmmmmm..", girl thinks for a moment and said, "Ok give me ten meters" With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, Banta hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.

How to get backgrounds of santa banta wallpapers ? How to download backgrounds of santa banta wallpapers ? http://www.santabanta.com/wallpapers/ Do you know any website to download that kind of backgrounds. Or any other site that provide background graphics. I know how to save image. Actually i want background graphics used on those santabanta images.

How did this trend of jokes on the characters Santa and Banta started? Who are these two, Santa and Banta? Fictious characters or any real persons?

Santa-Banta jokes! :)? Driver: Sir Ji, petrol khatam ho gaya, gaadi aage nahi ja sakti. Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo. Santa Singh, while riding a cycle, suddenly hit a girl! The girl shouted: Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!! Santa: Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maaru??!! Santa calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?' 'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant. 'Thank you.' says Santa and hangs up. Santa: "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon". Banta: "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!" Santa: O Banno, Car ki speed itani kyu badha di..? Biwi: Oji, car ki break fail ho gayi hai, Accident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai! Why did Santa sleep with a scale? Because he wanted to measure how long he has slept. Santa: Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When Banta asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!! Postman: I had to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet. Santa: Why did u come so far? Instead U could have posted it. Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication. Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai. Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya hoga... Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons One day a pigeon reaches Banta without message Angry Banta calls Santa! Santa: Oye, this was a missed call Santa, standing on platform, suddenly jumps on the railway track. Banta: You'll die. Santa: You'll die. Haven't you heard that train is coming on the platform? Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School? A: He is the one who erases the notes from his books when teacher erases the board. A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai? Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja... Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000? Santa: I think I'll take the money. Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai. Santa: Hai. Frog: Nahin hai. Santa: Hai. Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well. Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi Banta ek sadhu se bola - Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta? Banta to his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It's already raining. Banta: So what, take an umbrella and go. Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the. Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, Hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, Aur woh teeno kambhakt peete nahin. Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye? Santa: Birla cement. Banta: Kyun? Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan ha Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery. The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du? Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya? Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what he said next... Ismein aur colour dikhayiye. Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho. Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu. Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai. Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata. Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho? Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the, Ab use pehchan nahi pa raha. Teacher asked Santa: What is d meaning of Tamso Maa Jyotir Gamaya? Santa: Tu so ja maa, main Jyoti de ghar ho k aya. here at least u smiled :) enjoy ur day!!!

SANTA BANTA SANTA JOKES? Santa goes to an electronics shop to buy a TV. Do you have color TVs? Sure. Give me a green one, please The Banta Doctor to his patient "It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain." The Race A banta sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing The bystander A Marathon race is going on. banta : What do they get from that? Bystander : The winner will get a prize banta : Then why are the others running?! Santa and Banta at a bar sipping black label. Banta noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner. As he was getting up to talk to her. Bartender : "Hey don't worry about her, She is lesbian!" Banta : "Lesbian or no lesbian, I get them all" ....and he stylishly holding his whiskey in his left hand walked to her table. Then leaping forward in a very sexy voice he says. "Honey where exactly in Lesbia, you from?" Santa with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back."

Santa-banta jokes???? In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. …. Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup… Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto? Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’ Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated… drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge! Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai. Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho? Santa: I’m falling in love. Santa : My mobile bill how much? Call centre girl: sir,justdial123 to know ur current bill status. Santa : Stupid, not current bill my mobile bill Interviewer: what is ur qualification? Santa : Sir, I am Ph.d. Interviewar: What do u mean by Ph.d? Santa : (smiling) passed high school with difficulty ... Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA Hope they succeed to bring a smile on your face !! :)

Santa Banta Jokes? Mr. and Mrs. Banta Singh's two-year-old boy was bawling away loudly. Mrs. Singh asked her husband why their son was being so difficult. "he wants to take a ride on a donkey,"replied Banta. "Then why don't you put him on your shoulders and go for a run?" ---- The act of unlocking A customer arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, They were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. He went to the service department and found a mechanic, Mr Santa working feverishly to unlock the driver`s side door. As the customer watched from the passenger`s side, he instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," he announced to the technician, "It`s open!" "I know," answered Santa.- "I already got that side."

Ramadan! Santa & Banta - InSpiReD by SaLMa...? Santa-Oye!what R U doing? Banta-Recording this babys voice. Santa-Why? Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa had a fight with his father. So, Santa went to the graveyard and hanged a photo of his father on the tree. And below the photo it was written, "COMING SOON" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE 11 A.M MYSTERY DEATHS THAT MADE EVEN TOP DOCTORS WONDER... This case happened in a hospital's Intensive care ward wher! e Patients always died in the same bed and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM. So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves. what the terrible phenomenon was all about.................. Just when the clock struck 11... and then...... then..... then.... and then.... Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and Unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

Santa Banta Letter to Bill Gates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? Dear Mr. Bill Gates, This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab . We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice. 1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is. 2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button. 3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this. 4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran upto Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting. 5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home. 6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug?? 7. Every night I am not sleeping as i have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So i suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat. 8. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?

How many Santa - Banta Singh Jokes are there in real ? I say just 3. 1st was that .. having a bowl of curd in his hand and somebody asks him time... ofcourse he says the real time .. 12 oclock... 2nd was .. he was going to ofiice and forgot spects, watch and hankie.. remember ? asks his wife from downstairs to throw spects .. then the watch.. both broken and then stops her to throw the handkerchief.. 3rd was when santa and banta were playing chess.... !!!!! ONLY 3... ALL OTHER ARE NOT JOKES... BUT, REAL STORIES !!!! LOL !!!!.....

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Santa and Banta Jokes? Teacher: Translate - Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain. Santa: The Tablets are walking in the market. Interviewer: What is skeleton? Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!! Santa: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs marriage age 21yrs? Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi. Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho? Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lakh plastic surgery k liye diye the, ab use pehchan nahin pa raha Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja sakti. Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo. Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai. Banta: Are tension mat le, Zeher bharwane aya hoga... Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne maara. Santa: Phir tune kya kiya? Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao. Santa: Phir? Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara maara! Santa: Chand pa jaana asaan hai ya suraj par? Banta: Suraj par. Santa: Woh kyon? Banta: Suraj subah me dikhta hai aur Chand sirf raat me dikhta hai jab aur kuch dikhaai nahi deta!

this is one of santa and banta jokes... rate it if u think its funny? 1)An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do! 2)Santa and Banta went for a drive. Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not? Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!" 3)Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl . 4)Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister ." 5)How did Santa tried to kill a bird?? He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die. 6)Titanic was sinking. An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"? Santa: 2 KMs. Englishman jumped into sea. Englishman: Now, which direction? Santa: Downwards !

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Santa Banta Unlimited? Santa enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it. Jasmeet observes the whole episode. Again he comes and does the same stuff. Jasmeet askes, " Why are you doing this? Santa replies, " Doctor told to check sugar level regularly". http://www.yashgifts.com/joke.html

how can i download santa banta songs?

any one know the poet called "Santa Banta" ?

Does this giggle U? Santa Banta Unlimited? Why did Santa look into the mirror with his eyes closed? Because he wanted to see how he looked when he was sleeping. http://www.yashgifts.com/joke.html

Does santa & banta stories are real?

Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's? Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's Place in a Brand New - Red Ferarri. Banta: Wow Santa, What a car! Where did you get it from ? Santa: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this car and asked me - "want a ride Mr. Singh ?" I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr Singh. take anything" Banta is quite excited and asks "What did you do Santa?" Santa: I took the car. Banta: good show - you wouldn't have fit into her clothes what would you have taken? i meant to say...what would you have taken excluding the ferrari

any santa banta jokes please?

why santa' & banta's jokes r so popular in india?

any good joke about santa-banta?

how can i download wallpaper from santa banta? i have clicked in the download option thin i set it as a wallpaper!! i dnt kno where it is saved!! it is not in my pictures!!

Is there a collection of Clean SMS Jokes, Santa Banta Jokes, Sher - O - Shayari available on internet? Can you give me link for the above mentioned things, I cud not found any site which have all clean jokes most of the website hosts adult or Non - veg contents. Thanks in advance

how to create funny extraordinay joke with banta and santa? same as above

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Santa Singh and his friend Banta Singh are..? walking by a police station where there are plenty of posters of criminals wanted for murder. Santa says,"See Banta, now you can outsource killers and that too at the police station. Imagine!" They see another big poster of a person which read,"Bihari- wanted for rape". And Banta says,"Damn. These Biharis get the good jobs."

Santa Singh meets Banta Singh and says lets marry................what does this mean? No dirty answers please.

Fellow Indians , what is the reason for making jokes on sikhs ? I really don't get it why Indians love to make jokes on santa banta so much . Is it becoz they hate sikhs so much or is it because they like sikhs so much ? Or is it becoz they have mistakenly assumed that sardar is an idiot ?

What do you want to become in your next life? Santa asked.? Additional; 1. Banta said ; cockroach 2.Santa; Why? 3.Banta ;Because my wife fears only the cockroach ! Time 24 hrs

Santa Jokes? Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously... ********* Finally, santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again. Santa and Banta went for a drive. Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not? Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!" ********* An Englishman and santa inside the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do! ********* A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out. ********* Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl. *********

Poor Banta.......? ....One Person knock the door of Banta on 12 th floor, Banta open the door. The man was crying and said - Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, Sardar jumps from 12th floor. At 8th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter! At 5th floor he remembered I'm unmarried! At 3rd floor remembered I'm Banta not Santa!!!!!!

Today seems to be Santa Singh day, so here goes..? Santa Singh passes away in an accident. His body is horribly charred. The authorities call his two friends, Banta and Ghanta, to verify/identify the body. They call Banta first and ask whether the body is that of Santa Singh. He looks closely and then flips the body over and examines his butt. Then he declares firmly," This cannot be Santa." " Why?" ask the authorities. " Because Santa had two assh...s," replies Banta. Ghanta is then called in and asked if the dead person is Santa. He examines the body,flips it over and studies the corpse's butt. "This is not Santa," he declares confidently. On being asked why, he says," Santa had two assh...s." The authorities are confused and ask Banta and Ghanta, why they say that poor Santa had two assh...s. They replied that everyone knew it. "How so?" the authorities asked. "Whenever we walked down the street together people always said," There goes/Here comes Santa Singh with the two assh...s.

letter to bill gates from banta singh,a joke? Dear Mr. Bill Gates, This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice. 1. After connecting to Internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is. 2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button. 3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this. 4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting. 5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home. 6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug?? 7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat. 8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money. 9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that? Best regards, Banta Singh

Is this Funniest Joke ? Once Santa & Banta were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss was residing. Now, this boss was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed and alive, but if one single person doesn't laugh then the joke-teller would be shot to death. Banta started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, "One day........." and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Santa. So according to the vow, the boss shot poor Banta. Now, it was the turn of Monty. He also told the best joke he had ever heard. Again everybody laughed including the boss & his robbers, but still Santa was quite as a statue. So the boss shot him. Then came Jaggi. As he opened his mouth to tell the joke, Santa suddenly burst into laughter. Everyone was puzzled. Santa was laughing madly. The boss asked him, "Why the hell are you laughing without hearing the joke?" Santa said laughing and giggling, "Oh! How funny Banta's joke was!"

do u like this joke? if u have some more jokes please tell me? read these and tell me how these r Santa: "When I woke up this morning, I felt like going out and getting a job." Banta: "Did you?" Santa: "No. I stayed in bed until the feeling passed." -Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door? A: Because it was an entrance exam. Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in m! edical college. Banta: What's he studying?" Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him! Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication. Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa! Santa: Oye, this was a missed call Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track. Banta: Santa u'll die. Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform? Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School? A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u? Banta: Me too, after u leave. Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000. santa: i think i will take the money. Santa: I Santa was writing something very slowly. Banta asked: "Why are you writing so slowly?" Santa: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast."

Gal: I think the poorest people are the haapiest.? Gal: I think the poorest people are the haapiest. Banta: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest. • What's an adult joke? Santa: Any joke which is eighteen years old. • If u call ur mother as MUM what'll u call mother's younger sis & elder sis? Santa: Minimum and Maximum • Santa: Main ek eho jehi cheej labhi aa jeehday nal deewar de aar par dekhya ja sakda hai. Banta: Balle! Ki cheej hai? Santa: MORI • Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me? Banta: Don’t know. Santa: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his! • Santa & Banta are walking down the road when Banta says: Look at that dog with one eye! Santa covers one of his eyes and says: Where? • Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me. • Jeeto to Santa: Stop looking at girls, u r married now. Santa: U mean if I am on diet, I can’t look at the menu also? • Santa to Banta: Name 5 animals living in the water? Banta: 1 Frog. Santa: Theek hai hor das? Banta: Frog da praah, bhen, piyo te maa. • Banta: Meri biwi mujhe chod ke chali gayi. Santa: Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga. Banta: Arre yaar, Sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha.

continued jokes...funny surprise if u click here....pls star if u like? Santa: Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator? Banta: I give up. Santa: Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music ********* Jasmeet: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa." Judge: "But why?" Jasmeet: "Because he is not faithful to me." Judge: "How do you know?" Jasmeet: "My lord, not a single child resembles him." ********* From his deathbed, Santa called his wife Jasmeet and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Banta." Jasmeet: "Banta! But he is your enemy!" Santa: " Yes, I know that! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now." ********* Banta: I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife Preeto that I'd be home tonight, and when I got into my room I found Preeto in another man's arms. Santa: kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, " Maybe, she didn't get the fax." Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees". The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees. Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the developer?" One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating team leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU ate one developer and it got noticed. So hereafter please don't eat a person who is working ." Prince Charles & Santa Singh were having dinner. Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine". Santa Singh thinks "how poetic" Santa Singh says, "pass the custard you bastard". ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Banta Singh at bar in New York. Man on his right says "Johny Walker single" Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single" Banta Singh says - "Baljith Singh Married" ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.? Santa Singh: U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ? How much is DRIVING salary...? ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Santa-Banta Theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!! ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Santa & Banta Singh were driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO... ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Santa Singh shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office.... ************ ********* ********* ************ ***** Banta Singh is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks. He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks. He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion.. .... ....... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......" ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** A Tamilian call up Santa Singh and asks " tamil therima??" Santa Singh got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!" ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Santa & Banta Singh looking at Egyptian mummy. Santa Singh: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case. Banta Singh: Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!.... ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Banta Singh on an interview 4 da post detective. Interviewer : who killed Gandhi? Banta Singh: Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating now.... ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Santa Singh for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father in the essay and>it read: I AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS, SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR. ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Interviewer: what s ur qualification? Banta Singh: Sir I am Ph.D. Interviewer : what do u mean by Ph.D? Banta Singh: (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. .. ************ ********* ********* ********* ******** Amitabh : In which state Cauvery flows? Santa Singh: liquid state..... Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.... A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, " You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?" "What dear?", she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. "I think you're bad luck." INTERVIEW: Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire? Sardar: Simple, stop imagining. Sardar starts shouting in a store... where is my free gift with this oil? Shopkeeper : There is nothing free with this Sardar: It is written CHOLESTROL FREE. Sardar: in my dreams rats play football every night DR: take this tablet you will be ok Sardar: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final match. One day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile his call gets cross connected to some other lady. They still keep on talking. They start liking each other. And finally they get married. Moral of the story… An IDEA can change your wife. SEHWAG's SON: Mummy mummy !! dekho papa six pe six mar rahe hain SEHWAG's WIFE: Beta theek se dekho,advertisement hoga. Titanic was sinking. An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"? Santa: 2 KMs. Englishman jumped into sea. Englishman: Now, which direction? Santa: Downwards ! Two days of power cut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.

What do u think of dese.............................jokes? A Doctor and a Engineer loved same girl. D engineer started giving an apple to the girl everyday. Doctor asked: WHY ?? Engineer: An apple a day keeps a doctor away! Santa wants to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it. Banta: Is this dog faithful ? Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me. Mandy was a beautiful college student in her young age. Once she comes late to class. Teacher: Why are you late? Mandy: One boy was following me, sir. Teacher: So, What? Mandy: That boy was walking very slow. Santa asks Priest: Why did god make women so beautiful? Priest: So that you will love them. Santa: But why did God make them so dumb? Priest: So that they will love you. Santa & Banta got tired using mobile cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send sweet messages. And this hilarious scheme worked very fine. One day Santa sends his pigeon. Banta sees, the pigeon is without any message. He picks his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any sweet message. Santa: hey fool, that was a missed call. Angry Boss: Have you ever seen a foolish n dumb guy? Employee: (looking down) No Sir... Boss: Don't look down. Look at me. Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It is sufficient for me, but how will you survive? Santa: Why are you heating the knife. Banta: To kill myself. Santa: But why are you heating it? Banta: To prevent infection. Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statue you have broken. Steven: Thank God! I thought it was a new one. Santa was weeping at a grave, "Why did you die? Why did you die? Your death ruined my life." Banta: For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent? Wife? or Girlfriend ? Santa: My wife�s first husband. Husband: I want divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months. Lawyer: Think about it once again. Wives like that are really hard to get! Harassed Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner. Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can't cook meal. Husband: I know all that. Wife: Then why did you invite the friend? Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married. Little boy: Aunty, what is inside your stomach? Pregnant Lady: It's a cute little baby. Little Boy: If it is cute, why did u eat it? Drunk Laloo points towards sky and asks drunk Mayawati: Is it sun or moon? Mayawati: I can't say what it is, because I am also new in the town. Kid: Why are some of your hair white mom? Mom: Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me unhappy, one of my hair turns white. Smart Kid thought for a moment, and then said, "Mamma, how come *all* of grandma�s hair are white? Stephenie and Ryan were sitting inside a hospital. Stephenie was crying loudly. Ryan asked WHY? Stephenie: They will cut my finger for medical blood test. Hearing this Ryan started crying even louder. Stephenie asked "Why" ? Ryan: I have come for my urine test. Tell me if u liked dem [PS:srry for such a long thing]

what about this one? Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver* 10. Once Santa & Banta were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss was residing. Now, this boss was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed and alive, but if one single person doesn't laugh then the joke-teller would be shot to death. Banta started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, "One day........." and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Santa. So according to the vow, the boss shot poor Banta. Now, it was the turn of Monty. He also told the best joke he had ever heard. Again everybody laughed including the boss & his robbers, but still Santa was quite as a statue. So the boss shot him. Then came Jaggi. As he opened his mouth to tell the joke, Santa suddenly burst into laughter. Everyone was puzzled. Santa was laughing madly. The boss asked him, "Why the hell are you laughing without hearing the joke?" Santa said laughing and giggling, "Oh! How funny Banta's joke was!"

Wow! Some more jokes!! Your views...? Santa standing on the scale, holding his stomach in. Jeeto: I don't think that is going to help. Santa: Sure it does. How else could I see the numbers? Interviewer: What is skeleton? Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!! Santa, Banta & Bobby were going on a motorcycle. Policeman gives hand to stop. Santa shouted: Oye pagal, already 3 of us are sitting, where will you sit? Boss: I’m giving u driver’s job. Starting salary Rs. 3000, is it OK ? Santa: U R great sir! Starting salary is Ok but how much is DRIVING salary? Santa & Banta were looking at Egyptian mummy. Santa: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case. Banta: Aaho, lorry number is also written... BC 1760 !!!. Santa gets a Cheque & throws it on the ground. Can you Guess why? To see whether it’ll BOUNCE or not! Santa: I'd like some Vitamins for my son. Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C ? Santa: Any will do as my son doesn't know the albhabets yet. Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me? Banta: Don’t know. Santa: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his! Santa & Banta are walking down the road when Banta says: Look at that dog with one eye! Santa covers one of his eyes and says: Where? Pls star if u like! Spread♥!

Hardest Feeling:-Worth a star? Hardest Feeling! Santa, Banta and their wives went out camping one weekend. Santa and Banta slept in one tent while the wives used the other. At about three in the morning, Santa woke up and yelled, "Wow, unbelievable!" Which woke Banta. "What's going on?" said Banta. "I've got to go to the other tent and find my wife." said Santa. "How come?" said Banta. "To have s*x! I just woke up with the biggest hard-on I've ever had in my life!" said Santa. After a pause, Banta said, "Do you want me to come with you?" "Hell, no! Why would I want you to do that?" said Santa. "Because that's my di*k you're holding."

Do you like these Hindi Jokes? Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !" Sam : "It's a family tradition". Teacher : "What do you mean?" Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher : "What about your mother?" Sam : "She's a woman". Titanic K Saath Santa Bhi Doob Raha Tha, Or Hans Bhi Raha Tha, Banta:Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai? Santa:Shukar Hai Mainay Return Ticket Nahi kharida. Jab question paper ho out of control, Answer sheet ko karke fold, Aeroplane banake bol baiyaa ….. All is fail ! Daku Mangal Singh Banta Ke Ghar Mein Ghus Ayaa.. Daku : Sona kahan hai, Jaldi Bataao..! Banta : Pura Ghar Khali Hai Malko, Jithe Marzi So Jao! Santa meets his friend Bunta Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B...! Bunta : Oye, Iska Matlab ? Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..! Santa ko exam me ans nahi aata tha to usne ans me likh diya aur ans likha k scrath aur ans pao Santa & Banta watching match. Dhoni ne 6 mari. Santa- dekho dekho Goal hua. Banta- abe tu pagal hi rahega Goal isme nahi CRICKET me hota hai. Fact of Class Room: Jab Professor Tumhain Class Se Baahar Nikal Dey To Samajh Lo K Tum Taraqqi Kar Rahe Ho. Coz He Might be Afraid That You Know More Than Him! Be Positive. want to know the meaning of SHADI SHADI MEANS-: S-SHANTI BHANG H-HIMMAT KHTAM A-AAJADI SAMAAPTA D-DIMAG KHARAB I-IN "MAN'S" LIFE Life is like math. Friends ko plus kro , dushman ko minus kro, khushion ko multiply karo, Gham ko divide kro, aur hamesha masti karo Kya mast hai life

are they funny???? .santa singh and his friend walking on the road, santa's friend say oh! see the dead bird!! santa singh looks at the sky and says where. --------- .Once Santa & Banta were going in the helicopter. Santa:Banta I am feeling cold. Banta:I'll just stop the helicopter's fan ---------- .Jugnu Singh: I was born in Punjab. Kallu Singh: Oh really, which part? Jugnu Singh: All of me, silly. ---------- Two men were fighting over whether the moon is big or the sun.Just then Santa Banta came.They asked them to tell them whether the sun or the moon is big,so Santa replied "sorry I'm new in this town --------- .Santa and Banta Got really fed of the parliament so they decided to blow it up. So, when they where going by the car Santa said "Banta! what happens if the bomb blows up in the car?" Banta:"Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the backseat." thnx for reading them n always remember................... stay happy n keep smiling!

How is this Joke??????? Once Santa & Banta were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss was residing. Now, this boss was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed and alive, but if one single person doesn't laugh then the joke-teller would be shot to death. Banta started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, "One day......... " and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Santa. So according to the vow, the boss shot poor Banta. Now, it was the turn of Monty. He also told the best joke he had ever heard. Again everybody laughed including the boss & his robbers, but still Santa was quite as a statue. So the boss shot him. Then came Jaggi. As he opened his mouth to tell the joke, Santa suddenly burst into laughter. Everyone was puzzled. Santa was laughing madly. The boss asked him, "Why the hell are you laughing without hearing the joke?" Santa said laughing and giggling, "Oh! How funny Banta's joke was!"

where can i get hot jennifer hawkins swimsuit pictures?????? except santa banta.com...if anyone answers this question, i will pick it as best answer....

rate these jokes :)-? ll luv 2 tak yu out 4 dinner, mak yew sit beside d candle, shower yu wid roses & utter dose 3 magical words in yur ears . . . . . . . . . . . . "PAY THE BILL" =D A Man buys a Lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decided to test it at dinner: Dad: Son where were you today during school hours? Son: At school (robot slaps son) Son: Okay I went to the movie! Dad: Which one? Son: Harry Potter (robot slaps again!) Son: Okay I was watching Adult movie. Dad: What? When I was your age I didn't even know what movie was! (robot slaps dad) Mom: hahahahaha! after all he is your Son!(robot slaps Mom) =D hindi- Santa & Banta got tired using mobile cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send sweet messages. And this hilarious scheme worked very fine. One day Santa sends his pigeon. Banta sees, the pigeon is without any message. He picks his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any sweet message. Santa: Oye khotey, that was a missed call. World’s top 3 sweetest Sleeps : 1. Sleeping on mom’s lap when we r tired 2.Sleeping on lovers shoulder when alone. 3. Sleeping with open eyes when . . . . . . .teachers r Teaching hindi- Teacher To Santa- Tune Home Work Kyu Nahi Kiya . . . ... . Deadly Answer Given By Santa- Sir.. Kyu Ki Me To Hostel Me Rehta Hu, Ghar Me Nahi hindi Santa: Doc. Kya tum bina dard kiye dant nikal sakte ho? Doc: no Santa: me nikal sakta hu. Doctor: kaise ? Santa: he he he he he he he he Funny quote on a husband's T-Shirt: All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen -- of them only 7 person read this jokes,,,,,,, i want more read any of them if u don't have a time @greenday -aisa kya mujhai bhi boring laga seriously kuch jyada hi long hai mujhai aur jokes milai nahi @prosenji -nope @krazy kool-kaha sai copy kiya yai

hahaaa funny.check this outttt? At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh! Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying? • A blonde was being admonished by the doctor: Until the penicillin cleans out ur infection, u r to have no relations whatsoever! Pausing for a moment, blonde replied: Ok, but what about friends & neighbors? • A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper. Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper? French: Toilette pepper! • A French guest, staying in a hotel in New York, phoned room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" said the Frenchman. • A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting on a deck at a nudist colony. The history professor asked the psychology professor, "Have you read Marx?" The psychology professor replied, "Yes, I think they are from the wicker chairs." • We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations--we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together • Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter • Two women were talking about their new milkman. First: He's very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly. And so quickly too!, said the other. • Santa & Banta were walking in the highlands then suddenly Santa fell down a deep hole. Banta: Are you ok? Santa: Fine thanks! Banta: Did you break anything? Santa: No, there's nothing down here! • An old: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up. Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.

Jokes !!!!!!!!!!! Do you like these????? Four Ants are moving through a forest. They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him. Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR. Once a man saw Santa digging a hole and Banta filling it. He got confused and went to ask them. Man: Why are you doing so? Santa: We are 3 people Santa,Banta & Tanta. My work is to dig the hole, Tanta's work is to plant a seed and Banta's work is to fill the hole. Today Tanta has taken a leave.....so why should we stop our work??? Once Santa Singh entered a cybercafe to check his mails. It was crowded so he had to wait. As he waited he saw a man checking his mails. He stood behind him and watched. The man typed his password and was waiting when Santa Singh cried out"Yes yes I know your password. I can read your mails now." Surprised the man asked "Oh yeah, tell me what is it". Santa singh replied " Five stars." Thank you for answering friends :-) Have a great day :-)

new jokes!? Fifteen minutes into the flight from Delhi to Kolkata, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry. We can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry. We still have one engine left." santa turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!" --- santa & banta walks into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, "51 days! 51 Days!!" About five minutes later, their friend jaggi walks in, orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering. Finally, one of their another friends walks in with what looks like a picture. He puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and starts cheering with the others, "51 days!51 days!! The Bartender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to discover that the picture is a Puzzle. He walks over to santa and asks, "What on earth are you doing??" "Well," the Santa says, "everyone thinks we are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!! warning: u should like all these jokes othrwise you know whats gonna happen! hey just joking u can give a * if u like! i know i always demand 4 stars but if u didn't like them so don't give! n thnx 4 reading them stay happy!

joke for you? • A French n a Brit gynecologists were chatting. French: Just last week there was this woman, her cliotris was like a melon. Brit: That's a lie, she wouldn't be able to walk if it was. French: You Brits always talk about size; I was talking about the taste. • Condom to whisper: Bloody every month u stop my business for one week. Whisper: If u make a mistake I lose my business for 9 months. • A female Press Reporter slaps Santa. Banta standing near asks Santa: Y did she slapped u? Santa: On her T-shirt was written 'Press', so I just pressed… • Signboard outside a prostitute's house: Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy... • A professor was asked to give a talk on Sex When his turn came, he stood, walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone just so. He said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure..." And he sat back down. • Did you hear about the blind man who was walking down the street and as he passed the fish market he tipped his hat and said, "Good evening ladies.

Santa Banega Karodpati - Complete version? We have our famous friend Santa Singh qualifying for the hot seat. (He pressed the buttons by accident and managed to qualify) AB : OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity here with us. Santa : Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fateh. Chak denge phatte aj. Tusi start karo ji. AB: To aap apne pitaji ke saath aaye hai, kya naam hai aapke pitaji ka?” Santa: “Hai Jee?” AB: “Kya naam hai aapke pitaji kaa?” Santa: “Are sir jee, kam se kam char options to do…” AB: “ufff.., ok.., leave it. Lets proceed with the game” AB : OK Santa this is your first question for 1000 Rs. - ‘Which state has the largest sikh population ?’ and your options are A. Punjab B. Punjab C. Punjab D. Punjab Santa : Oh ji how much time do I’ve to answer this question AB : Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can take your time Santa (giggles) : Sir ji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I would like to use my lifeline. AB : I’m not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use. Santa : Audience poll AB : OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time starts now. After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board. A. 25% B. 25% C. 25% D. 25% AB : Santa ji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share your disgust here. Santa : Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya Sirji aapki audience ne. I think I’ve to use my second lifeline - 50 50. AB : Very good ! 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge. OK computer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen. Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab Santa : Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji. Mein chodoonga nahi aaj isko. Wahe guru de kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye. AB : Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, You have record of using all the lifelines in the very first question. This is great . OK phone a friend - kisko phone karna chahen ge aap. Santa : My one and only one… mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh. AB : OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye. Phone rings. Banta picks it ‘ Hulloooooo, kon hai oye adi raati,???’ AB : Hello Banta ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke Kaun Banega Crorepati se. Banta : ahhhooooooo, Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein #!@#$%&#@##%#& kar deta, kher, Ki hal chal he sar ji. AB : Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan bethe hain mere saath aur…………….. Banta (Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gaya hoga, khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji. AB : Aapko sirf tees second .,………….. chaliye mein aapko special case karte hue 1 minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab. Santa : Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ?? Banta : oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere dud wala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez pehen gaya. Sale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap laye ga. AB : Santa ji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai. Santa : Yes Yes. Oye chod use yaar question hai ………………… (he tells him the question). Banta : Saale sari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska answer mujhe aata hai. Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe . Iska answer Punjab hai lallu. Santa : oye par ……… (and the clock stops). AB : Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakka confidence hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj. Santa : Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh to batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai. And this was the last episode of KBC as most of the audience died laughing… thanx & regards Pooja

Santa Banta Unlimited? Santa enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it. Jasmeet observes the whole episode. Again he comes and does the same stuff. Jasmeet askes, " Why are you doing this? Santa replies, " Doctor told to check sugar level regularly". http://www.yashgifts.com/joke.html

how to view images in santa banta? which have a web address those images which have a portal connection { beginning with http://}

I Need Best of SANTA BANTA Jokes,Not old one?

which is de shortest joke of santa n banta? ne guesses!!!???

What are some better ways of being entertained other than music? Sorry, I needed to ask something that would be classified as a Question! I guess jokes can entertain you for a few minutes... One day Santa Singh and Banta Singh were watching the 6 O' clock edition news. While they were watching: Santa: " Hey Banta, I'll make a bet with you!" Banta: " What is it?" Santa: " I'll bet you $ 50 that the person in the lead story in the news will jump off the cliff!" Banta: " Okay!" So they are watching the news and the news breaks out that the man in the story did indeed jump off the cliff. But then, Santa feels guilty because he already watched the 3 O' clock edition news. So he says: Santa: " Banta, you dont need to give me money." Banta: " No its okay, a deal is a deal." Santa: " But see, you dont understand. I already watched the 3 O' clock addition news and I already knew that the man was going to jump off." Banta: " Oh, its ok. I watched it too. But I didn't think the man was stupid enough to jump off again!" Santa Singh and Banta Singh exited and locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to remove the key which was in the ignition. Realizing the mistake, Banta asked, "Why don't we get a wire to open it?" "No, that won't work,” answered Santa. "People will think we're trying to break in to steal the car." Then Banta suggested, "What if we use a pocket knife to cut around the rubber, then stick a finger in and pull up the lock?" "No," said Santa, "People will think we're too dumb to use a wire." "Well," sighed Banta, "we'd better think of something fast. It's starting to rain, and the sun roof is open!" Banta Singh wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told Banta Singh to jump out of the plane and pull his ripcord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. Banta Singh understood and was ready. The time came to have the newfie jump from the airplane. The instructor reminded him that he would be right behind him. Banta Singh proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the ripcord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his ripcord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the Banta Singh. Banta Singh seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"

jokes for Indians? There was power cut in Delhi Metro ( station ) , Santa & Banta's family was stuck in escalator for 48 hrs. PLSSSSS GIVE ME A STAR

Jokes should never HURT anybody's HEART. I am soooooo SORRY.? If a joke asked by me about Santa-Banta few days b4 hurt someone, I am really sorry for that. It was not asked to hurt someone or any community. I always salute to Sikhs. India would be no longer if this Brave People were not with INDIA. I once again apologize.

Why not having some SMS Jokes in today's Mobile World ? Come friends lets share and make the whole world laugh CLEAN JOKES :- 1. How do u keep ur husband away from reading ur emails ? A: Rename the mail folder " Instruction Manuals". 2. Wat is an adult Joke ? A: A joke that is more than 18 years old. 3. He: Do u luv me just bcos my father left me fortune ? She: No, Stupid, I'd luv u no matter who left you the money. 4. 2 days of power cut made life miserable in Delhi. Worst affected was families of Santa & Banta stuck for 48 hours on Delhi Metro Station ESCALATORS ! 5. Man b4 marriage - SUPERMAN. After marriage - GENTLEMAN. After 10 yrs - WATCHMAN. After 20 yrs - DOBERMAN. 6. Reality of life. You luv someone & u marry someone else. Person u marry becomes ur Husband or Wife and the one u loved becomes ur password of email ID. 7. If u call ur mother mum. wat will u call her younger and elder sisters ? A: MiniMUM & MaxiMUM. 8. Teacher: wat is 5 + 4 ? Mr. Bean: 9. Teacher: wat is 4 + 5 ? Mr. Bean: r u fooling me ? u just twisted figures. Its 6 !... SO FRIENDS, WHY NOT SHARE UR SMSes TOO ?

Jokes Star if you like? What is Common between : Krishna , Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..? Sardarji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays. Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My Mobile No. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610" Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister." Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?" Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery. The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du? Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya? Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai. Santa: Hai. Frog: Nahin hai. Santa: Hai. Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well. Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.? What's Ford? Santa: Gaadi. What's Oxford ? Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha. Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan. Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door? A: Because it was an entrance exam. Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg? O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega! Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.? Santa: Very long! Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000. Santa: I think I'll take the money. Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track. Banta: Santa u'll die. Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform? Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication. Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage. Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out. Santa: I didn't say he got out.

we indians shirks and shun playing outdoor games - isn't it ? we indian like Antaksaries, watching Hindi masala movies, love to be part and parcel of dance and drama recitals of most hilarious kinds. We love to physically tricklled by the BANTA-SANTA jokes. we love jewelleries- and fair and lovelies and serial like SaaS Bahu and ---. We do not like to be on the sports arena playing football, hockey and such physically exillerating sports and games . we like Liliputians like Tendulkars, Gangulies , the crickters. But why ? what is the remedy?

my stupid boss~~!!!!!!!put a star in my kit if u like it~~!!!!! There were these two software engineer friends and both of them had Sardarji drivers. They were having an argument about whose driver is more stupid. So one of the friends called his driver:"Oye Santa Singh"... Santa Singh replied: "Ji praaJi" his boss said: "take this 100Rs, go to Showroom and buy a Mercedes Benz for me" Santa Singh said: Oh fikar hi na karo ji..mein abhi aaya" The boss said to his friend in a winning tone.." See how stupid he is..he went to buy a Mercedes for only100Rs," The other friend said" Still my driver is more stupid" Then he called his driver Banta Singh and said" Go home and check if I'm there"..............Huh? Banta singh said" ji mein abhi aata hoon dekh kar".. His boss said "see my driver is more stupid.. he can't even realize tht how can i be at home if i m here" Now Santa and Banta met on their way.. Santa: My boss is sooo stupid..he gave me 100Rs, to buy a mercedes..he does not even know that today is Sunday and all showrooms are closed... Banta: My boss is even more stupid.. He sent me to check if he is home..he has a cell phone .he could have called home and check if he is there..??

Jokes,................................? Banta ek Sadhu se bola: " Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao." Sadhu: "Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?" ------------------------------------# Santa in exam hall found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg? da answer new wrote.. . . . . . O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega! -------------------------------------# Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication. Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman --------------------------------------# Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art? Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror! ---------------------------------# Love Affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either. The trouble with being a good sport is, you have to loose in order to prove it. An optimist: A man who gets married when he's seventy-five and then looks for a house near a school. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other

funny????? Scene(A truck was towing away another truck in front of a bus stop where Santa was standing.) Santa started to laugh like hell. Mr Chaudry asked, ''Why are you laughing'.' Santa says,'' Can you believe it? they need 2 trucks to carry a rope'' ---------- Santa and Banta Got really fed of the parliament so they decided to blow it up. So, when they where going by the car Santa said "Banta! what happens if the bomb blows up in the car?" Banta:"Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the backseat." ---------- once Santa and Banta wanted to do a job so they went to a office .There they were told this that their interview will be after 4 days.Santa worked hard whereas Banta did not the day of the interview arrived Banta began feeling as he had not prepared anything.As Santa's turn came Banta told him that"Santa please tell me your answers which u say".Santa agreed.the officers who were taking the interview asked"what was the name of the first prime minister of India?Santa said"Jawaharlal nehru.then they ask him"when did India get independence?Santa said"1947".then they asked"tell something about geothermal energy?santa said"scientists are researching on it.then Santa comes out and all the answers to Banta.Banta goes inside.they ask him"what is your name?Banta says"Jawaharlal nehru"then they ask"when were you born?"Banta says "in1947"they ask"are you mad?"Banta says"scientists are still researching on it" ha ha ha... hey i'm very very sorry if i hurt someone!!!! but remember yaar these are just jokes n are submitted by mad people like me! so remember keep smiling!!!!!! n stay happy!!!!!!!!

Jokes...... hope u like them :)? Santa Singh walking on a road and paused to read the the graffiti on the wall.It read "the one who reads it is a fool". Santa Singh thought for a minute, erased it and wrote back,"one who wrote it is a fool". -- Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judje asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices". Said Banta Singh.It said "FINE FOR PARKING HERE". -- Santa Singh and Banta Singh had just bought two horses. Now the problem was that they could not differentciate between the 2 horses.So, one day, Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know it is his horse.While doing so, an enemy of Santa looks at him.This enemy also cuts the left ear of Banta's horse.By doing so, Santa and Banta come in confusion to differenciate.So the next thing Santa keeps on cutting his horse' right ear then his tail then makes him blind and so on.And the enemy also kept on doing with Banta's horse.At last Santa horse had no legs left and horse had only 1 leg.The enemy also went on and cut Banta's horse's one leg.So, in the morning it was the same situation, how to differenciate their horses.So, after thinkin and putting lot of efforts to their mind- Santa said-O.K you keep the black one and i will keep the white! -- Santa Singh told his wife that after his death she should marry Banta Singh."But why should I marry Banta whose your no. 1 enemy?" enquired his wife. Santa said "Oh darling, this is the only way I can take my revenge from that useless fellow!

funny?????? or not???? Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track. Banta: Santa u'll die. Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform? --------- Teacher: Where does God live? Pappu: I think he lives in our bathroom. Teacher: Why do you say that? Pappu: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?' ------------ Santa is driving down a road and sees a sign that says, “Watch for Fallen Rocks.” A few kilometres later, he sees some rocks at the side of the road, so he stops and picks them up. When he gets to the next town, he carries the rocks into the Highway Maintenance office and puts them on the counter. “Here are your fallen rocks,” he says to the man behind the counter. “Now where is my watch?”. thnx for wasting your very very precious time on these jokes! thank u very very much! n yaa always remember...........................................................................................................................keep smiling! because 'kal ho naa ho'!

liked them or not??? Santa and Banta had just bought two horses. Now the problem was that they could not differenciate between the two horses. Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse. While doing so, an enemy of Santa looks at him. This enemy also cuts the left ear of banta's horse. By doing so santa and banta come in confusion to differenciate. In his effort to differenciate the horses Santa keeps on cutting his horse's right ear, then his tail , then makes him blind and so on. The enemy also kept on doing so with banta's horse. At last Santa's horse had no legs left and banta's horse was with one leg only. The enemy also went and cut banta's horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution! How to diffrenciate thier horses. After thinking and putting lots of effort to thier mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and i will keep the white .* -------- Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua. Wo udas ho gaya. Banta : Yaar udas kion ho? Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa. here are some more.... How did Santa tried to kill a bird?? He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die -------- One day, Banta, along with his two friends, one being Polish and the other being an American go to the police station to get jobs as cops. However, they would have to answer only one question. The Polish person goes into the room. Detective: Who killed Jesus? Polish: The Catholics. Detective: Good answer. In an hour or so, we'll tell you if you got the job. The American goes next. Detective: Who killed Jesus? American: The Jews. Detective: Good answer. In an hour or so, we'll tell you if you got the job. Banta is next. Detective: Who killed Jesus? Banta: You have to give me more time. Can I tell you tomorrow? Detective: Sure, take as much time as you want. Banta then goes home and he finds his wife making dinner. Wife: How did your interview go, sweetheart. Banta: It went very well. I'm on my very first murder case. thnx for reading them! hope u liked them! n yaa always remember.... keep smiling n stay happy!!!! if u found them funny! plz give a *sitara*! actually i wanna know that how many people like my jokes!

On a scale of one to five stars? Rate this joke: Fireman! Santa and Banta were sitting in a coffee shop...suddenly the Town`s Fire Alarm went off. Santa jumped up and headed for the door. Banta shouted, "Hey, Santa, I didn`t know you were a fireman!" Santa replied, "I`m not, but my girlfriend`s husband is..."

funny surprise if u click here....please star me if u liked it.? A Manager of the branch bank found he had no space left to store old records. He wrote to his regional manager Banta to for permission to destroy old records. Banta Singh replied back: "I do not mind your destroying old records but please make sure you keep photo-copies of all the destroyed papers". ************ ********* ********* ********* * Santa and Banta decide to go picnicking one day. When they get there, they realize they`ve forgotten the whisky. Banta says he go and get it if he promises not to eat the chicken till he gets back. Now, Santa waits and waits till a whole day goes by, when Santa says to himself: Come on, I`m hungry. He is not going to come back so let me eat the chicken anyway. Suddenly Banta pops up from behind a tree and says: If you do that, I won`t go ! ************ ********* ********* ********* * Banta showed his palm to a palmist . He examined the lines on Banta s hand & said, A beautiful girl will come into your life, but be very careful. Why should I have to be careful? asked Banta. She should be careful of her life. I drive a Blueline bus! ************ ********* ********* ********* * Walking up to a department store`s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per meter madam," replied Banta (clerk). "That`s fine," replied the girl. "I`ll take five meters." "Five meters only?", asked Banta "Hmmmmm..", girl thinks for a moment and said, "Ok give me ten meters" With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, Banta hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled. Bush, Manmohan, Aishwarya Rai and Sonia are traveling in a train. The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly, there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train came out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything. Sonia is thinking: These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya. Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him. Aishwarya is thinking: Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped. Bush is thinking: Damn it. Man Mohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me. Man Mohan is thinking: If this train goes through another tunnel and I will make another kissing sound and slap Bush again.

jokes for the day!? There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were sardarjis, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, "I'll get off." After a really touching speech from the girl saying she would get off, all of the sardars started Clapping. ------- Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview. The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had. The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked? Banta says, "Oh, about 8 to 10 feet." The boss says, "Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here - you're no miner!" On his way out, Banta tells Santa to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Santa gets called in. The boss asks Santa if he had worked underground mines before? Santa says, "Oh sure." The boss asks how deep underground he worked. Santa says, "I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground. " The boss says, "20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, "What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground? " Santa says, "Oh, I didn't need a light, I worked on the day shift!" give a 'sitara' (star) if u liked it otherwise thnx 4 reading these jokes n wasting your time!

funny surprise if u click here....please star me if u liked it.? A Manager of the branch bank found he had no space left to store old records. He wrote to his regional manager Banta to for permission to destroy old records. Banta Singh replied back: "I do not mind your destroying old records but please make sure you keep photo-copies of all the destroyed papers". ************ ********* ********* ********* * Santa and Banta decide to go picnicking one day. When they get there, they realize they`ve forgotten the whisky. Banta says he go and get it if he promises not to eat the chicken till he gets back. Now, Santa waits and waits till a whole day goes by, when Santa says to himself: Come on, I`m hungry. He is not going to come back so let me eat the chicken anyway. Suddenly Banta pops up from behind a tree and says: If you do that, I won`t go ! ************ ********* ********* ********* * Banta showed his palm to a palmist . He examined the lines on Banta s hand & said, A beautiful girl will come into your life, but be very careful. Why should I have to be careful? asked Banta. She should be careful of her life. I drive a Blueline bus! ************ ********* ********* ********* * Walking up to a department store`s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per meter madam," replied Banta (clerk). "That`s fine," replied the girl. "I`ll take five meters." "Five meters only?", asked Banta "Hmmmmm..", girl thinks for a moment and said, "Ok give me ten meters" With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, Banta hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled. Bush, Manmohan, Aishwarya Rai and Sonia are traveling in a train. The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly, there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train came out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything. Sonia is thinking: These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya. Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him. Aishwarya is thinking: Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped. Bush is thinking: Damn it. Man Mohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me. Man Mohan is thinking: If this train goes through another tunnel and I will make another kissing sound and slap Bush again.

hey every1 like these? if u like these thn give stars? thanx 4 giving stars(only if u give) lol A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition. Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, "Bengali." The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, "Punjabi." This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, "Calcutta." Other replied in a weedy frail voice, "Ludhiana." Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, "Asit." Replied the other, "Santa." A few hours later, Asit managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly, "Cancer." Santa responded, "Sagittarious Santa and Banta fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later Santa takes a boat over to the other island to see how Banta is doing. When he gets there, he finds Banta standing among a group of natives. "Greetings! How is it going?" says Santa. "Wonderful!" says Banta, "I have discovered an important fact about the local language! Watch!" He points at a palm tree and says, "What is that?" The natives, in unison, say, "Umbalo-gong!" He then points at a rock and says, "And that?" The natives again intone, "Umbalo-gong!" "You see!", says the beaming Banta, "They use the SAME word for 'rock' and for 'palm tree'!" "That is truly amazing!" says the astonished Santa, "On the other island, the same word means 'index finger'!"

funny joke???????????????????? once santa singh and banta singh decided not to use mobiles instead use trained pigeons next morning santa got bantas pigeon and there i\on the leg of the pigeon was a slip on that slip was bantas no and name in the evening when santa met banta he asked y did he send the pigeon with only his name and no on it banta said"i gave u a missed call"

Another joke.....4 ???? There were 2 sardarji. Ofcourse santa n banta singh. Both of them bought a horse each. Banta asked: "How will we know which is urs n which is mine?" Santa: EASY...., I'll cut my horse's tail, urs will b da 1 wid tail. this was heard by some mischevious boy n they cut the other horse's tail too. Next mrng the confusion continued. Santa retorted: Dont worry, I'll tie a bell around its neck, urs will b the 1 widout bell. The boyz heard this also n they cut the bell. The next day Santa got frustrated n said: And said: Okey....the last criterion....WHITE WILL B URS AND BLACK WILL B MINE.

How is this joke? Confusion of ownership ! Santa and Banta bought two horses. Now the problem was that they could not differentiate between the two horses. So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.When he does so,an enemy of Santa sees him doing so. This enemy cuts the left ear of Banta s horse. Santa and banta are confused. So, next thing Santa cuts some body part of his horse and his enemy repeats the same on Bantas horse. At last Santa s horse had no legs left and Banta s horse was with one leg only. The enemy also went and cut Banta s horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to differentiate between their horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to their mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and I shall keep the white .

will this tickle ur FUNNY BONE?? Three old couples were having tea one fine day. There were all chatting and whatnot when one of the men, trying to get a chuckle, said to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey!” Getting the chuckle he expected, he carried on. A moment later, the second man said, "Pass the sugar, sweetie!" This got a bit of a bigger laugh, so the third man, although not quite as clever or quick-witted as the other two, decided to join in the fun. He waited for the perfect opportunity, cleared his throat and then confidently said, "Pass the milk, cow!!!" santa and banta are talking and one says to the other; “I am so tired of people not understanding what I'm talking about. Banta asks; “What do you mean?” A neurotic is the person who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the person who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is the person who collects the rent.!!!!

Do u know how to keep a sardarji busy ? U can consult Santa or Banta ..